Monthly Reflections on the 12 Promises from EAI Trustees
PROMISE 7: SELF SEEKING SLIPS AWAY.
Ironically, being more “appropriately focused on self-first” is what brings about the most growth for me in EA. It gives me serenity and strengthens me for service. I practice Healthy Concept # 1 “we do not come for another person – we come to help ourselves”. In doing so, I now have a firm footing from which to launch my increased emotional well-being – which benefits others. How does it work? I set good boundaries. I meditate and eat good food – all the stuff from JFT # 4. In truth, I’m NOT being self-seeking when I practice good self-care. I’m putting the oxygen mask on myself before trying to help others (airplane emergency analogy). In sum – this is MY recovery! - Scott J. EAI President
The Big Book, the book entitled Alcoholics Anonymous, Dictionary defines self seeking as seeking or pursuing only for oneself: the act or practice of selfishly advancing one's own desires and goals. Thus a selfseeker is a selfseeking person; seeking only to further one's own interest. That was my life. i was going to make a lot of money from a career that also offered other benefits like medical insurance so that i could receive the best care. i wanted to retire at an early age so that I could relax and i could enjoy the remainder of MY life. i had no thought of others or collaborating with anyone so that we could both advance and enjoy life. I was engaged 3 or 4 times, but one of the things that stopped ME from getting married was that i couldn't see how i could really benefit from it. i saw my mate benefiting more. One reason why i didn't have any children was because i didn't see how i could do it and still have what i wanted and enough time for MYSELF. Though that was not the only reason. i had a very hard time with the concept of sharing. For a short time i shared a bedroom with my middle sister. She was always affecting somehow "MY side" of the room. i didn't have a roommate in college. When i travel for service work now, i am expected to share a room sometimes. i still find it difficult to share. The difference between then and now, is that now there are just a few things I have trouble sharing, before it was everything; and also now I have people to talk with about it, so it is not daunting today. Thank you Emotions Anonymous, the people I met here, and the God of my understanding that I also met here! - Derita P. EAI Trustee
I did not immediately understand the idea that ‘self-seeking’ would slip away when I first saw it. I looked at it very literally, which confused me because I did not consider myself to be very selfish before being part of the program. But after having worked the steps more than once and regularly attending meetings, I have come to understand all of the ways in which my actions and words, both little and big, may have affected others. I am thankful that many of my self-seeking ways have slipped away and given way to serenity. - Paul N. EAI Trustee