Monthly Reflections on the 12 Promises from EAI Trustees

PROMISE 9: OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH OTHER PEOPLE IMPROVE.

I know what this promise states, but I just first want to briefly touch on the relationship I have with myself. This relationship has changed the most drastically. I hated myself. I was not conscious of this, but one day I heard a speaker say that she hated herself and she described her thoughts and how she would let people treat her. And I said to myself, "Wow, then I must hate myself too!" So to make this very long story short, I love myself today. I now have heard people say things to me like, "you're spoiled" or "you think you're special." I say to them, "I'm not spoiled, I just love myself and if a person can't treat me how I treat me then we won't be friends too long." I also treat people like I treat myself. When they come to visit me I treat him or her like a king or queen respectively. I ask, "Is the temperature ok, can I get you something to eat or drink, what would you like to do?" Well usually that last question we both have some idea about that. I am smiling because I've had guys over and I can't just leave it totally open for them, most of them would say let's go in the bedroom. My mother taught me a long time ago that you teach people how to treat you. I really didn't understand it at the time, but now I have found that to be so very true. The program has just repeated what my mother said like so many other things my mother has tried to get across to me. Not to digress, but I heard a guy in AA say if he had just listened to his parents he would've been ok. And we all just laughed because we were all relating. So, the program has also taught me how to treat myself and other people. So, of course, my relationships with other people have improved. - Derita P., EAI Trustee

I've tried to find hope and courage to continue my work in the EA program through this promise - that my relationships with other people will improve.  I've found, though, that the greatest work I need to do is in my relationship with myself.  I aim to have a better relationship with me.  To be more loving toward myself, to pay attention to my needs, and to listen to my inner wisdom and learn.  I believe this 9th promise - in regards to other people - will come true only through this initial internal work.  I'll be more loving toward them, I'll pay attention to their needs, and I'll listen to their wisdom and learn.  I look forward to all my relationships improving - starting with my relationship with myself. - Scott J., EAI President

The promise that our relationships improve with other people is an awesome one. I have many friends and family in my life whom I care a lot about, but what I have said in the past and the way I have acted might not have reflected how I want to be perceived and received by them. Putting a mirror up to my character defects and breaking emotional walls to make amends' has opened the door to having relationships that reflect my true feelings and intentions. For this I am thankful. - Paul N., EAI Trustee

Through my short 3 years in this program, this promise has ‘sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly’ become true for me. The awareness that comes with working the program helps me accept my human limitations and it also eliminates confusion that comes with being unaware of what is going on inside of me. While learning more about myself, I have been able to be more honest with others. This drastically improves my relationships. The most immediate evidence of this promise coming true for me has been at work. Being open and honest, if I am emotionally struggling, allows me to get the help or break that I need. My improved ability to be open and honest in personal relationships reaps a similar reward. My friends and family are more open and willing to help me and are more patient now that they are aware of the struggles I deal with. So for me, awareness, openness, honesty and willingness help improve my relationships with others. - Kelsey W., EAI Trustee